I think it was a book review for "there's no me without you" but it's late and I'm not even sure if that's correct. So, I'm trying to give credit but I'm likely mis-crediting. Regardless, here's my thoughts from what I read:
When I read this: "adults are hard-wired to attach to wide-eyed, helpless babies; a fit-throwing non-English-speaking snarling Bulgarian four-year-old does not, at first glimpse, invite adoration..." I couldn't help but agree. And then a previous thought hit me: what was my reason for adopting? Was it to adore a child or to love a child? Was it to feel warm fuzzies or to provide a loving family for a child in need.
Surely this adoption process continues but certainly the big picture is the same. Judah is in need of a loving family and a mommy who will pick him up and snuggle him closely even after he says he doesn't have to poop and proceeds to leave a stinky pile on the wood floor.
Lord, would you help me to constantly remember to act in a loving manner and to extend lots of grace! May no unedifying words come out of my mouth or thoughts come out of my heart. As you continue to prune me and mold me as a parent, and your child, would I also remember that its necessary to be pruned to have a fruit harvest.
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Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Quilt Raffle Winner
Thanks to all those who purchased tickets for the quilt raffle. Jeannie Tessmer is the proud winner of the beautiful quilt. I must say I'm a little jealous that it's going to be displayed at her house and not mine :) Congrats Jeanie! Thanks again to mom at for piecing and quilting such a beautiful fundraiser!
Still not posting much
I have plans to write about our trip for those who are interested. I journaled daily and that was cool. When Jen and others wrote about their trips, I found it helpful. But for now, I'm still trying to get in the swing of things.
Judah is beautiful and we love him. But sometimes that love is a choice and not a natural reaction. I'm not gonna lie, it's not easy. Adoption is a wonderful thing but its not simple. The paperwork process was the easy part. Now transitioning to having him in our home and for him having us as his family is the "fun" part. We've rocked his world and we know it. He's acted out and we understand but that still doesn't make it easy.
The biting has decreased. He's going on the potty again a little... if I sit behind him on the toilet. He's still sleeping well at night but getting him to sleep is a chore. And that task wouldn't be such a "task" if he had his own room and Scott could go right to bed. But they share a room and Scott is a good big brother and is trying to help calm Judah. He's eating better and trying some new things. When he dislikes food, he's no longer spitting and throwing but rather putting it on his plate. Boy is he strong-willed! The child can say "please" but wouldn't yesterday. Instead he would just shake his head "no". Well I'm stubborn too and I didn't refill his cup of water and instead let him wait an hour until supper. He did finally say please after his first cup of water at supper.
He's adorable though and we love him. We're thankful that so far his test results have come back negative. He's seemingly healthy. He loves to climb and run and even seems unbothered to walk on the gravel bare-foot (but I choose to pick him up). Yesterday he started venturing out on his own a little more. The cats no longer cause screaming fits. He still screams but he smiles too. He doesn't trust them yet but he's not so much on gaurd either. He loves the trampoline even though he doesn't weigh enough to get any bounce. He also loves the play set and doesn't lean back in the swing which scares me and goes head first down the slide. Yes, he's all boy!
This morning Judah went with Bethany to Grammy's. He's been there before but right now he's there for the first time without me. I hope that's going well. While he's there I'm supposed to be home cleaning. guess I better hop to it. I'll leave you with a few pics:
Monday, May 10, 2010
home and alive
Yesterday we made it to church for MOther's Day which was awesome. We had supper with my folks... oh so nice to have American food again. Today was a morning at the docs office. Checking out wierd stuff, talking about typical stuff and drawing blood for titers tests for the various vaccinations. In the process he got 3 suckers, two stickers and several hugs and kisses. We even made it to the physical therapy dept to see Ms. Jen.
I have lots to catch up on there, including the 3,000+ pics. Thanks to our friends from our small group who cleaned our house, took care of a flat tire and various other things. You guys and ladies ROCK!!! Looking forward to the meal tonight from some friends of home-made pizza... yipee!
busy momma of 3,
Tamara L. Buitenwerf
Tamara L. Buitenwerf
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Friday, May 7, 2010
About Now
Right about now we should be trying to get through immigration and customs. It won't be long and this little cutie will be home with us:
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Thursday, May 6, 2010
Popcorn
Judah should fit right into the Buitenwerf family. In Ethiopia coffee and popcorn are tradition. Seems oddly familiar to a Buitenwerf tradition too, at least the popcorn part.
Today we'll have the farewell ceremony at the hotel. I don't know what to expect yet and can't wait to tell you about it. Our flight leaves out at 10:50pm which hopefully means that Judah gets a good snooze in while we fly. Maybe I can get a good snooze in too.
Please pray for us. We have a long day (estimated ~24 hours) of travel before we arrive back home. Speaking of which, you can pray specifically that we land early in Detroit so we can catch our connection (we have a scheduled 1:20 layover) to Cedar Rapids on Friday.
Scott and Bethany, we miss you bunches. We're sorry that we missed Awana awards last night and look forward to hearing about it tomorrow when we get home!
Today we'll have the farewell ceremony at the hotel. I don't know what to expect yet and can't wait to tell you about it. Our flight leaves out at 10:50pm which hopefully means that Judah gets a good snooze in while we fly. Maybe I can get a good snooze in too.
Please pray for us. We have a long day (estimated ~24 hours) of travel before we arrive back home. Speaking of which, you can pray specifically that we land early in Detroit so we can catch our connection (we have a scheduled 1:20 layover) to Cedar Rapids on Friday.
Scott and Bethany, we miss you bunches. We're sorry that we missed Awana awards last night and look forward to hearing about it tomorrow when we get home!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco De Mayo: Farwell Ceremony and Shopping Day
It was so nice to have a slow, relaxed morning. We had a light breakfast before we headed over to the care center for our farewell ceremony. Lots of us wondered why the farewell ceremony was so early. We learned from Tsegaw that the ceremony is held earlier so that we have time to shop. So, the ceremony was wonderful. Sister Martha spoke briefly about the need for adopting orphans. It was really touching. And super special that the administrative staff that would usually be off for the national holiday came into work to take part in the ceremony. Sister Martha then asked someone to pray for the families as well as the nannies and Holt staff. No volunteers. Since no one else piped up, Ryan volunteered. As he stood up to pray, he was also asked to give a speech. Nice. Ryan off the cuff, gave a very heartfelt speech about being adopted into God’s kingdom before he prayed. It was awesome and I’m thankful that Ryan stood up there and gave God the credit for everything about our adoptions. As in a traditional coffee ceremony, we were served coffee and popcorn. In addition to that, we were served cake. Prior to the cake being served, each child was given the chance to cut the cake and have their picture taken. It was pretty cool to see all the families participate with their little ones in traditional Ethiopian clothing. During the ceremony (at least until the cake and soda was ingested), the crowd of children sitting to the side behaved extremely well. They were adorable and precious and it was fun to recognize some familiar faces. When the ceremony was over, we changed our kiddos back into their clothes and left them there for naps and lunch while we headed out for a bit.
“A bit” ended up being much longer and shorter all at the same time. We stopped at a tiny shop before heading to the market. I bought a lot thinking I’d get it now and be done worrying about it. Then we stopped at a strip mall sort of place which was a bit bigger and had more stuff but another place that wasn’t cheap. Seriously, they don’t put prices so they can rip off the Americans do they? After that we stopped for lunch. I was thinking a quick grab and go kind of place. I don’t think such a place exists in Ethiopia. Several hours later and after being served the wrong meal, we still didn’t all have food. I ordered a simple ham and cheese sandwich off the menu. I was served a cheeseburger. I can kind of understand the mistake because ham and cheese can be similar to cheeseburger but I wasn’t falling for it. So of course I argued with the guy a bit about it. He tried to pull one over on me and finally said they were out of ham so a hamburger would work. My ugly American filter was full so the ugliness began to overflow. I informed the waiter that I didn’t order the cheeseburger and would not be eating it. I sent it back to the kitchen and asked for a menu. I ordered oriental rice with chicken. Some time later a chicken stir fry dish came out and I ended up just taking it. It was pretty good, but that might be partly due to the fact that it was 3pm and I was feeling a famished. We stopped at a few more specific shops for others requests and headed back towards the hotel. I was quite disappointed when we got near the hotel and realized our shopping trip was over. At the same time, I was sad that we, in my mind, wasted so much time eating lunch away from our children and didn’t get to buy all the things we’d hoped to buy. It was great picking up our son again! Multiple times in the last few days, I’ve had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to take Judah (who now responds to Judah) home to meet his brother and sister.
We spent our evening in the hotel chatting with the other families. As we left the room, I grabbed up my smiley son and had suddenly had poop all over my hand and forearm. Judah went straight to the bath. We went downstairs for supper where we waited for a long time to get our food. I don’t even want to explain the wait other than to say that it was annoying. While downstairs I noticed that Travis had poop in the seat of his pants. He’d been sitting on the floor holding Judah and reading him books when the poop explosion happened. By time we noticed Judah’s poop, Travis was gone. I giggled and informed Travis of his decorated shorts. Grossed out, Travis immediately headed upstairs to change. What fun!
Judah has been an amazing child. He’s happy generally and loves to give kisses. The care center has him very scheduled and although they didn’t tell us about his ring worm until today (and we have kissed all over his cheeks), his schedule is great. We’ve tried to stick to it for the most part. He LOVES liquids and is excellent about going to the toilet. Each time I say “bathroom” in Amharic, he goes to the bathroom. And while in our care, he’s not had a wet diaper and has done excellent with peeing on the potty. Yay for Judah!!! I’m so excited about this. He’s a ball of fun, that is until you take away his toy. Today he had his boats and car in his hands. I took his car and put it on the table since it doesn’t go in the tub. He proceeded to cry and throw a big fit. He took his stack of boats and took them apart and individually threw each of them to the floor. Naughty boy. No winning this one buddy. I took him to the bathroom and tried to calm him down. That didn’t really happen and as I put him in the tub, it only got worse. I had to sit on the side of the tub and put my legs across the tub to keep him in the tub. Snot flying, arms flailing and loud screaming was part of the fit as I now had a wet and screaming child who was trying to climb out of the tub. Not fun. We got Judah bathed, snot cleaned and dried off. Once he had his toy in hand, he was happy again. Other than that today, he has been wonderful and a pure joy.
“A bit” ended up being much longer and shorter all at the same time. We stopped at a tiny shop before heading to the market. I bought a lot thinking I’d get it now and be done worrying about it. Then we stopped at a strip mall sort of place which was a bit bigger and had more stuff but another place that wasn’t cheap. Seriously, they don’t put prices so they can rip off the Americans do they? After that we stopped for lunch. I was thinking a quick grab and go kind of place. I don’t think such a place exists in Ethiopia. Several hours later and after being served the wrong meal, we still didn’t all have food. I ordered a simple ham and cheese sandwich off the menu. I was served a cheeseburger. I can kind of understand the mistake because ham and cheese can be similar to cheeseburger but I wasn’t falling for it. So of course I argued with the guy a bit about it. He tried to pull one over on me and finally said they were out of ham so a hamburger would work. My ugly American filter was full so the ugliness began to overflow. I informed the waiter that I didn’t order the cheeseburger and would not be eating it. I sent it back to the kitchen and asked for a menu. I ordered oriental rice with chicken. Some time later a chicken stir fry dish came out and I ended up just taking it. It was pretty good, but that might be partly due to the fact that it was 3pm and I was feeling a famished. We stopped at a few more specific shops for others requests and headed back towards the hotel. I was quite disappointed when we got near the hotel and realized our shopping trip was over. At the same time, I was sad that we, in my mind, wasted so much time eating lunch away from our children and didn’t get to buy all the things we’d hoped to buy. It was great picking up our son again! Multiple times in the last few days, I’ve had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to take Judah (who now responds to Judah) home to meet his brother and sister.
We spent our evening in the hotel chatting with the other families. As we left the room, I grabbed up my smiley son and had suddenly had poop all over my hand and forearm. Judah went straight to the bath. We went downstairs for supper where we waited for a long time to get our food. I don’t even want to explain the wait other than to say that it was annoying. While downstairs I noticed that Travis had poop in the seat of his pants. He’d been sitting on the floor holding Judah and reading him books when the poop explosion happened. By time we noticed Judah’s poop, Travis was gone. I giggled and informed Travis of his decorated shorts. Grossed out, Travis immediately headed upstairs to change. What fun!
Judah has been an amazing child. He’s happy generally and loves to give kisses. The care center has him very scheduled and although they didn’t tell us about his ring worm until today (and we have kissed all over his cheeks), his schedule is great. We’ve tried to stick to it for the most part. He LOVES liquids and is excellent about going to the toilet. Each time I say “bathroom” in Amharic, he goes to the bathroom. And while in our care, he’s not had a wet diaper and has done excellent with peeing on the potty. Yay for Judah!!! I’m so excited about this. He’s a ball of fun, that is until you take away his toy. Today he had his boats and car in his hands. I took his car and put it on the table since it doesn’t go in the tub. He proceeded to cry and throw a big fit. He took his stack of boats and took them apart and individually threw each of them to the floor. Naughty boy. No winning this one buddy. I took him to the bathroom and tried to calm him down. That didn’t really happen and as I put him in the tub, it only got worse. I had to sit on the side of the tub and put my legs across the tub to keep him in the tub. Snot flying, arms flailing and loud screaming was part of the fit as I now had a wet and screaming child who was trying to climb out of the tub. Not fun. We got Judah bathed, snot cleaned and dried off. Once he had his toy in hand, he was happy again. Other than that today, he has been wonderful and a pure joy.
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