This time could prove to be a good time for God to reveal to us something different than we realize. This time could also prove to be a good time for the devil to get a foot hold.
Here's what has been going on in my mind:
- I selfishly want to adopt from Ethiopia because of the connection we have there.
- I haven't developed a love for Ghana yet.
- How will our family and our community react to such a dark skinned child?
- How will our community react to such a dark skinned young man/woman wanting to date their child?
- What if I were to get pregnant?
Oh me of little faith. God, Your word says in Isaiah that the voice will come from behind, no matter which direction I go. Help me to walk in Your way! Thank you for just enough light for the step I'm on.
Tamara,
ReplyDeleteYou are so sweet to have left me encouragement!!!
I was so tired that night. In reality, things are going along as expected with our adoption. Victoria had mentioned that it took a month for our friend Linda to receive her letter from Latvia regarding the next step of the adoption. So, of course, I jumped onto that time frame. When in fact, our lawyer told us it was about four to six weeks usually. It's an adoption survival mechanism... latching onto the dates that are nearest:)
I read thru your blog. Sounds like you have lots to sort thru too. It helps me (and the others) to help our fellow adoption peers... so please feel very welcome to use me for a source of information.
I want to reflect onto a couple things that are standing out to me on your blog... You will not be sorry you used Victoria at 'About A Child.' You can trust her and she is highly professional. A bit hard to understand at times... but always a genuinely concerned and helpful adoption professional. However, there are several others who are as qualified. The important things to look at are their qualifications if you are choosing a Hague country. The same is true for your home study agency. It's very important!!!
Adoption is a "you know that you know" feeling and journey. It is a true calling from God. ONLY YOU will know the right steps to take. Take everyone's advice in and then sit back and determine how it sits with you. Many people willl fill you with doubt becasue they can't see themselves making the same choices (such as with race issues or adoption in itself). God will have your back if you are truly seeking HIS will. He will throw out bumps in the road and He will open doors. Whichever He needs to do to keep you on the right path. Trust HIM only. Even my husband tried to sway me. He is now thankful for having trusted himself and me to move in the directions we have moved. We love our little girl. She, and only she, is perfect for us. We started with About A Child looking for a healthy, 3 - 5 year old girl from Hungary. We switched to a special needs gilr from Latvia after first switching from Russia. God had our backs:)
It is okay to change your route and your minds. You will change your minds several times about even adopting. But you will still have that "you know that you know" feeling if it's right no matter.
It will be expensive, but not as expensive as you think. Hold fundraisers, sell on Ebay, have a place on your blog for people to donate. You will find a way financially. The travel is the most expensive part. I worked for the airlines. I would have gladly given up a flight pass to someone who wnated to adopt if I had been asked. ASK!
About adopting domestically... please be careful. I am also a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children removed from their homes. I was also a foster mom. I am also a biological mom of two. There are some great resources through a program called 'Becasue they waited.' I like the training on Attachment issues especially and FAS. Children in the USA are placed into the system for totally different reasons than children in foreign countries. I have a friend who is adopting from Bulgaria. She said that women are very scorned if they drink alcohol...whether pregnant or not. That is a good thing if you are trying to avoid FAS. I LOVE Latvia!!! The orphanages are clean, home like and the kids VERY well cared for. I personally, don't trust Russia. That is my own bias. I know of several people who have ado[ted from there and have amazingly wonderful, healthy children. I find it personally important to have a respect for the country of my child's origin. I admire the struggles of Latvia. You get the idea. Only YOU will know what is right for you. By the way, if race is a possible big issue in your community or extended family... then it's something to think about. I know in the rural setting my Father's family lives in... race is an issue. I would feel uncomfortable at times, I am sure. But, my nephew and niece are half Asian and I couldn't be prouder to be with them ANYWHERE!!! So who cares? Your children will gauge your comfort level... NOT that of the community. You go girl, if your decide to adopt a beautiful, chocolate girl or boy. People think poorly of me because I'm adopting a special needs child (even though she can be medically treated and as healthy as anyone). Remember not to let their fears impact your decisions.
Well, I didn't expect to write you a novel. I hope that my dissertation will indeed be helpful though. I am so thrilled for you and your family to even be exploring all the options. It's an amazing journey.
Lisa M (Mylifeslonging.blogspot.com)