The first little girl

I've been pouring over the waiting child lists for the past week. Several children have really caught my attention. Let me share a little about the first girl:

The first girl is beautiful. She's well behaved, helpful with the other kids and is healthy. She seems to be on the waiting child list because she's 6 years old.

Knowing that Ryan wants Scott to remain the oldest child, I asked Ryan if we could adopt her. His response was: "If someone hands us a $10,000 check, I'll take that as a sign from God." I think he was being slightly sarcastic in his comment but of course I didn't let it end there. I assured him that he was putting God in a box by saying that and said that instead we should see if she was still available for adoption and if so, to take that as a sign to adopt her. There was no response from Ryan.

I have been praying that God will help me find a family for this little girl. So, I could use your help in one or more of the following ways:

• Do you have $10,000 that you would be willing to send in the form of a check so that Ryan will see God's sign?
• Do you know of anyone who'd be willing to parent this little girl, to give her a loving family
• Will you join me in praying that this girl will find a family before she gets even older and less likely to be adopted?

As I was praying for this girl in the past few days, a thought occurred to me. A while back I was sitting on the patio of a coffee house with a friend when my doctor walked by. In our brief conversation I asked her if she was having any other kids. She said "no, unless one falls out of the sky for us." She went inside to order her coffee. When she came out we had another slightly more lengthy chat about adoption. I told her that there were plenty of kids that needed families and I would keep in touch with her if I found one. Well, maybe I did. I need to contact Dr. Ryan and chat with her about this beautiful little girl!

More info on the update

Now that I've communicated with the agency about our plans, I feel like I can be more open about where I'm at. The following is most of an email I sent to another family that I've communicated with about adoption with a few additions:

My two big things right now is that we want to be wise with the finances God gives us. And we want to be obedient regarding adoption. I really don't want to get caught up in all the small details of things. The fact that I typically like the details of things but not so much about the beginning stages of this adoption kind of surprised me. I think that's in part because I am a detailed person and didn't really like any of the options that I read about regarding adoption. There was no perfect fit and that frustrated me. I sat there complaining to God (and others) about it rather than making a decision. [I've started a spreadsheet for comparison but never filled it out thoroughly and part of me wants to compare them like I would a new sewing machine but mostly I just want to love a child in need]. When Michelle told me about your family, I was super excited. I thought it would be great to adopt from a similar situation as another somewhat local family. But as I dug through the details of the contract, I didn't like them. My kids are disciplined as a form of training them and I didn't like what the contract said about that. Likewise, I didn't want to assume the financial responsibility for legal fees - even though I don't agree with going to court and don't plan on that. For me, that just said that unless I have a padded bank account, I won't pursue legal action. The past few months when I've been hoping to be going through the gruelling process of adoption paperwork, my heart has been heavy regarding an agency that would be a good fit for a family. I feel like I'm waisting time. Will I miss our child's birthday? Will I miss the opportunity to provide needed medical care because of my lack of decision?

I met a girl on the ghana yahoo group that lives [nearby] and has adopted from Ghana. I was excited to [communicate with her with the thought of our kids playing together someday]. Then I read about her agency and then the feedback I received from those who experienced that agency was not real positive. Again, I was on the hunt for an agency. These past few weeks have been crazy busy in our lives so I've been spending break time at the office reading about, praying over, and asking questions about another agency all the while looking at their waiting child lists and dreaming of the child(ren) who might join our family. [Sadly, I was hoping that there would be a sibling group on one of those sites that was exactly what I've been dreaming about: Siblings or twins younger than my children, but there wasn't. I was a bit bummed but did manage to email my husband about 3 seperate children]. There are two main agencies I'm looking at now. Both come highly recommended. One would cause me to start my homestudy process over (which isn't a super big deal) [but again, I'm a loyal person and I'd feel like I was betraying Kathy who has started our homestudy] and one wouldn't. These past few days I've been wanting to pick the child off the waiting child list and pick the agency according to that. The problem that we run into is we've only been married six years and we want Scott (born 7/05) to be the oldest.

Last night I read through Hebrews 11 and 12. Chapter 11 talks about the things people did by faith. I couldn't get past that chapter. I can't even remember right now what chapter 12 was about. This morning after working out, I read another version of chapter 11. It's still hitting home with me. If those people could do so much by faith, why can't I trust God in the small details of this adoption? If I'm capable of wading through the details, why don't I quit whining (a proverb about a dripping faucet comes to mind) and wade through the details? I'm so glad that this is the day the Lord has made. It's a new day, a fresh start and I'm so glad to rejoice in it.

Do you think if I go back to the sites again while I'm on lunch that there will be new ones? Maybe I should extend my search to countries I wasn't otherwise thinking of... but that would require me to remember what countries we're eligible for... pray for me, will you?

Ouch

I emailed our contact at agency #1 this morning and let her know that I wasn't comfortable with their contract. That I was prayerfully considering going elsewhere. I felt like I was betraying her. I am a very loyal person so that was tough for me. She was very nice about it. I'm thankful for that being off my shoulders now as I look at other agencies online and communicate with them via email.

Real Quick Update

Things are crazy. Adoption options are crazy. Based on my email conversations with the agency we chose, we're looking elsewhere. I've said before that I wasn't crazy about their contract. And now the issues with them waiting on adoptions. I for some reason feel like we have to be adopting right now. I hope that's of God. Anyway, I feel like I'm in the rat race once again of picking an agency and a country. Do we stick with an African nation or pick somehwere else? Do we just go with the big name agency that a friend recommends or do I do a bunch more digging.

It's like being at a restaraunt and picking one item to eat from their massive menu. Options are good. But too many options are distracting for me. I'm a simple minded person. I want to be obedient to the Lord in this and not get distracted by all the little details. Would you pray for me? Right now I have two agencies that I'm looking at:

• Agency 3: I like that they work in Ethiopia, but most agencies do work there now. I like that they are highly recommended by a friend in social work. I don't like that I emailed the contact lady this morning about their waiting child list and have not heard back from her today.
• Agency 4: They are starting to work in Uganda pretty regularly. Sounds interesting. They have two boys on their waiting child list that seem to be a good fit. One of which had a seizure in the past but no indication of them in the Ct Scan (hello, if that doesn't say Buitenwerf to me, I don't know what would since both my kids have had the random seizure before). I don't like that they'd have to do my homestudy and I've already started the homestudy with Kathy for our 1st agency.

Father, your love is amazing. I want to share that love with others without getting caught up in the details. May this be a joyful experience where you are ever present.

Homestudy

Let the homestudy begin... Kathy is meeting with us tomorrow night regarding our homestudy. I'm excited although I'm a little nuts because my house is not at all ready for guests, let alone the homestudy person! I guess she'll see the real me if I don't get it cleaned after the two other things I have going on tonight.

That reminds me, I should send my contract in for our homestudy... I bet they'd appreciate that.

I knew we were getting some much needed time away as a family. What I didn't know is that the resort the drug company took us to was African themed. I was amazed at all the African decorations, historical info, etc. As we left supper on Wednesday night, we took the skywalk back. Instead of the leisurly walk with the kids, I spent some time reading all that was on the wall. Forget the view of the outdoors, I was looking at African history and tribal information. I took pictures of each symbol and their meaning until I realized there was more. The second half, I only took pictures that I thought would be relevant to our child's culture and history later on.

As I walked through the resort, it was this constant reminder that I told God I would love a child in need in His name. thank you Lord for being there.

Orphan Problem, what are you doing?

From Anita's blog:
“If only 14 % of the world’s Christians adopted 1 orphaned child, the world’s orphan population would disappear. Disappear! Imagine. The Lord calls us to care for orphans over 40 times in the bible. Now, I am not saying that every Christian family is called to adopt. But every Christian family IS called to care for the orphans of this world. What can you do? Giving financially is certainly beneficial, but what about your time? Do you have time to write to an orphaned child—just to let them know that someone in this world loves them? Do you have the resources to visit an orphanage and spend time simply loving the children? Do you have the financial ability to assist another family with adopting a child? Or might there be an empty place at your table?”