I sometimes find myself to be simple minded and other times my thoughts are pretty deep. In the case of naming a child, its not a simple task or something we take lightly. Based on my last post, you might not have gathered that. I've been having an email conversation with Jen about this topic.
I thought I'd paste a little bit from our conversation to share with you. First, Jen sent me some interesting links. These first two (this one and this one) are from the perspective of an adult adoptee. Her thoughts and the comments she received are super thought provoking when considering naming, or re-naming, a child. Jen also shared their journey of naming their son.
And this is what I wrote to Jen and wanted to share here (of course slightly edited to remove full names):
We intend on keeping part of his Ethiopian name because of the significance of it. What we have yet to determine is how we're going to incorporate our own special name with his given name. Our son, is named after a dear friend of mine who had a HUGE impact on my life and then died a few years later when we were in 10th grade. Our son carries his daddy's name as his middle name. Our daughter's name was chosen because I think its beautiful. It does have bibilical connections but wasn't the only reason we chose it. Her middle name is my middle name - a family tradition. With B#3, we want to carefully select a name. Keeping in mind that our last name is difficult enough and we don't want to add to that. I love the meaning of our new son's name (take the lead to expand) but would also like to know why his birth mom chose that name. I also like his last name but not sure of that meaning.
But of course nothing in simple in my wild imagination. One thing that is continually on my mind is finding the middle ground of helping our new son know his history but to not focus so much on it that he feels different from us. We want him to belong to our family, and to be a rural Iowan just like we are. Because, truly, that's what God did for us when He said he adopted us as His sons. This same thought will be part of the naming of our child. I understand that at some point, he may not like his name, regardless of it being Americanized or not. Kids are kids and most of them find a time in life to dislike anything and everything that has to do with their parents.
Names are important to me. But more than that, being loved and loving others carries more value.
Have a great weekend. We survived our first winter blast and I still haven't mailed the i600a... I've been so lazy about it this week.
Names are hard. Our decision was to keep her first name that she was given and then we added a middle name for her that has a nickname builtt. We'll use both names together and also her Ethiopian name and our nickname for her. We want her to grow up knowing the history of ALL of her names and we're open to her deciding to go by different names at different times if she wants to.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest son told me that he wished he had three names too. :)
We gave our sweetpea a new first name...kept her surname as her middle name and she will also carry our last name. We haven't decided if we will include both her ET names as her middle name or only her surname...still mulling this over.
ReplyDeletePeople have very strong opinions on naming/re-naming...I believe you need to do what's you believe to be best for your child based on your own personal beliefs.
I don't know. I realize that you are deep in the mid-west and it might be more socially acceptable later if you give the child an americanized name. But you will already be giving him your american last name and I think it's wrong to take away both his native Ethiopian last name and his first name. From my light knowledge of Ethipia, names there are pretty easy to pronounce. Why not let him keep his current first name? By the time you legally adopt him he will be 3 years old and quite used to hearing his given first name at the orphanage PLUS it's his heritage and not his fault that some small minded people cannot accept a name other then John or Mary.
ReplyDelete(and keep in mind that I know your last name and I really don't think it's that hard to pronounce. Different but not hard to pronounce if it's said once correctly).
- Cori